Guys, I am going to tell you a true story.

One day when I was maaaybe 13 or 14, I had a runny nose. But it wasn’t full-on runny with rivulets of snot. It was just dripping. Literally. Like a leaky faucet. Drip. Drip. Drip. But when I tried to blow my nose, nothing came out. All I could do was keep running to the bathroom for toilet paper squares (boxes of Kleenex never lasted long at our house) to dab up one drop at a time. ALL DAY. It was so frustrating!

The whole family went to a neighbor’s house for dinner that evening, and I ended up going home alone, early, because the constant dripping was making me so uncomfortable. Alone in the house, I decided I’d had enough, and I wasn’t coming out of the bathroom until I managed to blow something out of my nose. I blew my nose over and over again, so hard that I thought I would pass out. But still I could only force out one drop at a time. I don’t know how long I tried.

Suddenly, just when I was about to give up, a huge snot wad came out of my nose. It was almost as big as the palm of my hand. It was like an egg. A SNOT EGG, jiggling in the middle of the toilet paper. And it was such a relief. After that my nose stopped dripping and I could breathe again.

Now whenever I get sick, I remember that day. I am getting over a cold now. I like to imagine that, if I blow my nose with commitment and sincerity, I’ll lay another Snot Egg and suddenly be well again, but it only happened that one time. The Snot Egg is my Great Pumpkin. Maybe we just need to believe! Clap your hands if you believe in Snot Egg!